Our deepest desires.

I have a learning disability. Who knows what it is. The best explanations I've heard is that I have a sequining problem. That explains why numbers are so hard for me to remember. School was not a nice experience for me. I was quiet and tried very hard to stay under the radar screen of the teachers, who I feared. So I was passed from graded to grade, never learning to spell. (Thank You God for spell check). In 1991 I went to be evaluated and was told "You function very well for someone who does not know the fundamentals of the English language " I was told that I read at about a 3rd grade level. I went home and began to think about that, the fact that I had problems was not new to me. I knew it and most people around me knew it but to have a number, a name, make it hit home. So I went to the Lord in pray about it. I told God that I understand how He had used my disability to form my character, I believe I am kind and compassionate because of my own hurts. But now I reasoned with God, He could heal me, set right the strange malfunctions of my brain. How If I say I heard God speak to me don't get freaked out. I don't hear voices.! And God does speak to His people. but for now let me just tell you what I heard. "I chose your strength and your weakness before you were born. strength in this world is weakness in my kingdom and weakness's in this world is strength in my kingdom. You are blessed I didn't give you many strength in the world." at that point I laughed and told God only he could insult me and make me laugh. It is the desire of my heart to be used by God, to be a blessing in his Kingdom. I believe God often allows things in our lives that we don't want, in order to bring about the things that are our deepest desires.